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Father, I don’t want to miss you.

I don’t want to become so consumed by religious activity that I miss the real, raw, life-oozing relationship that You extend.  I don’t want to become so infused with my own opinions and so confident in my own intelligence that I stop seeking Your guidance and Your discernment.  I don’t want to become so busy and important that I fail to have any time to spend with You.  I don’t want to spend my life talking and speaking about You;  yet feeling like it’s more of a book report than an adventure.

If I’m honest, I too often live out those former things.

There’s a gap in my life, one that I can’t really articulate much less begin to understand.  It’s as if my head gets the idea of You, but my heart hides from the reality of You.  So I’ve sort of half-lived out this Jesus life, more as a precaution than a dying to self kind of thing.

I’m tired of running to You, only to run away from You.  I want to know You well enough to trust You.

I’m tired of living half-alive.  I’m tired of trying to have it both ways.  I’m tired of my flesh winning out every single time.  I’m tired of the shame and the gauntlet of emotions that comes with being erratically devoted to You.  I’m ready for a cross;  ready for adventure, courage, and destiny.

Here I am God.  Yours for the wooing.  Yours for the taking.  May Your kingdom be beautifully pronounced through my everyday life.

What are you praying today?

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