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hard life, hustle, jake kaufman, life, music, nuances, overcoming difficulties, relationships, religion, resistance, struggle
Dear friends for whom resistance is a foreign thing;
For you, things have come easily and swiftly. I am happy for you. Really, I am. But I’m also a bit sad for you.
I know that seems weird, but hear me out.
You fell in love quickly and surely. Marriage came easily and naturally to you; and you didn’t have to sift and drift through a long list of failed and dysfunctional relationships to find your someone. Relationships have come easily to me, but love has been an elusive and tricky thing. You put a ring on it. I broke it off, again.
The internship practically begged you to take it; and soon you were on your way to climbing the ladder. You had the pedigree and the connections to fit right in; and you were confident of your lot in the corporate scheme of things. I’m thirty years old with a Bible degree, and still trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do with my life.
Faith for you was something you easily digested. You went to church happily; and felt content to just fit right into the scene. You listened to the sermon without hesitation. I used to be like that. But subtly, church became a place where bitterness flourished and my mind wandered. For you, it was joyful. For me, it was painful.
Please know that I’m not making light of any hard times you’ve went through. I know there have been some; but they seem to have been momentary. Mine have lingered. Because things have been so easy and well-ordered for you, I think that you must expect my life to follow suit. Honestly, for much of my life, I felt the same way.
But, not anymore.
Please don’t be disappointed or hurt when I say that I’m glad my life hasn’t followed the same trajectory as yours. Actually, in a weird and surprising way, I’m glad that I’ve struggled through life because,
I think that life should be like good music.
Good music doesn’t overwhelm you with a lot of catchy riffs, loud sounds, and easy lyrics. Good music has a way of underwhelming you at first; at taking its time to tell a story and connect with a certain and specific part of your soul. It weaves in surprising sounds and subtle nuances that you miss if you’re not really listening. Good music has a way of growing on you and reawakening your heart.
Life should be like good music; it should take its time with surprises, nuances, and moments which open your soul in a new way.
In our over-sensationalized, immediate consumption and gratification society, it’s easy to lose sight of the beauty of struggle. It’s too easy to lose heart when your life doesn’t go according to plan, or according to someone else’s plan. It’s too easy to become discouraged when life takes its time and offers a nuance rather than a simple path.
You, my friends who struggle not, may never know the richness, beauty, depth, and holiness that life finds when it walks through difficult struggles. That’s why I say that I’m sad for you.
For when life is easy, it’s easy to miss the music.
Comment below and tell me; How has struggling through something made you better?
jake kaufman stories 
Exactly…
That double edged sword that brings the tremendous highs & the heart breaking numbness of tradegy. Oh but what a ride it has been. I truly think you are a most gifted writer.
thank you cheryl.
I agree that struggles create character. However, I’m not sure I’d go so far as to pity those who have life easy. Many people can’t handle turmoil and may not come out on the other side with the winning hand. IMHO, getting through life “easy” is the ideal scenario that I’d wish for all those I love. However, when they do encounter the curve balls of life, I’ll pray that they are strong enough in both character and purpose to come out on top, learn from it and move on.
justin, maybe pity was the wrong sentiment. i do think there is great value in struggling and taking the “scenic” route to find our dreams; it seems they taste sweeter on the other side.
Jake, I do remember the years of struggling. However, they were more silent years because it was really not proper to talk about struggling with your faith. i believe there were and are many of us who struggled silently. In the middle of the night when sleep evades our eyes and minds will not be still that we asked many questions which could not be spoken aloud and prayed for answers.. It is during times such as this that your faith becomes your own and not just a traditional faith of your family. It is really not fair to look at people and think, “You do not or have not struggled with faith, life. and love.” Many of our struggles were for things that have actually given you more freedom than you may think you have in ‘organized religion’. It is actually in the heart and not the auditorium where the most freedom is needed. It is in our heart that we believe or condemn ourselves. It is in the auditorium that we learn to love and fellowship and yes tolerate something a little different than ourselves and even grow.
jake, so many things push pinned on my heart are about the struggles in life and how god reveals himself and shapes you through them…probably wouldn’t change my music either..